Alexander Hamilton, what a babe you were!
I think as I gaze upon this crispy bill—
And nobody likes you, Aaron Burr.

Most expert and gifted raconteur,
With your slanderous writing skill,
Alexander Hamilton, what a babe you were.

Mighty as a bear and tall as a fir!
Swift like a ninja with fists that could kill!
And nobody likes you, Aaron Burr.

Federalist favorite, my heart you do stir,*
Your financial talents give me a thrill…
Alexander Hamilton, what a babe you were.

An honorary presidency I do confer
From the depths of my love and goodwill.
Alexander Hamilton, what a babe you were,
And nobody likes you, Aaron Burr.

*some close readers might note that I called John Adams my “favorite Federalist. well, I was lying.