O Grant! Many a stogie did you smoke—
Tobacco clenched tight between lips so firm:
You inhaled TEN THOUSAND over a five year term.
I imagine you were quite a smelly bloke,
With fiercer attitude than James K. Polk,
Plus cigar breath that made enemies squirm.
Scandal followed you like a parasitic worm
Corrupting your office like some sick joke.
Your presidency fell into disarray,
The economy broken and the South a mess.
Ulysses, where were you? Smoking a cigar
And drinking bourbon rather than saving the day?
Poor Grant, I suppose that I digress:
Let’s sit back, relax, and inhale some tar.